I received some interesting n tot of sharing wif u guys.
1st email
Subject: #1 Men's Rules
Finally , The guys' side of the story.
We always hear ' the rules ' From the female side...
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every ques tion.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that .
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
2nd email
Subject: Funny Letter
A Father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see
the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the
pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving
home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is
so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all
his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and R andy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship,don't you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at our neighbour's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report
card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is
safe for me to come home. I love you!!!
(Just In case you not sure what is PTO stand for Please Turn Over)
3rd email
Subject: Fault Finding
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage.
They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their
eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning
the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for
office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it
in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen
totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle
fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to
be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the
hospital. He died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified
how she was going to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the
dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?
ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling".
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be
much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
This story is really worth reading. Sometimes we spend time
in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a
relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this
way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
4th email
Subject: Ah Beng's Night Course
Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning in future can get promotion or better job.
During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.
Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah.
Then Ah Beng started show off...
Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng: Don't know
Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: . *speechless*
The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions", nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: . *speechless + frustrated*
The next day, once again...
Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
Ah Seng: Your gay partner?
Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless + frustrated + irritated
This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...
Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
Ah Beng: Errrr... No!
Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
Ah Beng: . *fainted*
-END-
HOHO! Hope these emails make ur day like how they make mine!! =D Thanks to my collegues n friends for forwarding these emails. =)))
Time to do my lessons plans. ZZzzzzzZ.. Tata!
