juz a penny for my own thoughts... so juz bear wif me.. up 2 u 2 decide whether 2 read it or not.. cuz i guess its gona b wordy. 1st update below. sorry if i mentioned any names. =)n tis entry is juz 2 keep my memories fresh. doesnt mean anything else k!
was browsing thru my own profile in friendster n suddenly gt tis urge 2 go read all my testimonials. 9 pages in total. started frm d very 1st pg n saw jia's 1st testimonial n den page by page i read. remembering i was still in yr 1 whn i had tis friendster acc n den slowly i was wif jonathan, den blessings frm polymates n stuff. jonathan, he was a wonderful guy.. it was actually a patched up thing b/w d both of us cuz we used 2 b 2gether in sec 1 or 2. forgot. we did alot of things together. bowling, swimming, arcade, me gg down 2 his camp etc. alot of memories. it lasted for abt half a yr? shd be baz. broke off unpleasantly n it was painful. even went 2 look for him early in d morn n waited 4 him at his house downstairs 2 talk things out wif him but it didnt work cuz d prob doesnt reali lies on us. well, i shall nt elaborate any further. but it was wonderful half a yr. till nw, we still keep in contact.. knowing nw he has tis love prob revolving ard him.. juz hope everything turns well 4 him. =)
life goes on n then i met gary. he was a pri, sec sch friend. i didnt know him tt well. guess it was all becuz of junjie. sec sch times, didnt even talk to each other b4. it was only till whn i was waiting 4 my second 'o' levels results n was workin in jp den i gt 2 talk 2 him. duno hw, duno y. we got lots of things 2 talk abt. its like neverending. he was gg thru a break-up n so was i. den we meet n went 2 eat steamboat 2gether wif my babes. they had a great impression of him n they sort of pulled us together. went downtown east together n i got 2 know alot more abt him. d memories of lips cafe at cine, ktv at cuppage, jp mccafe, d macdonald beside chinablack etc. full of good memories but also, it didnt last long. only lasted like less than 3 mths i guess.. due 2 his personal matters. it was hard 2 let go. i guess i take every relationship very seriously tts y d hurt is always at d max. but frm him, i learnt alot too. learnt abt patience n also independence. recently, both of us had kept in contact n he came 2 my bday chalet. was happy 2 see him. had tis tots of being together wif him again n he had too.. but then, due 2 my own personal reasons, it didnt work out as well.. saw his friendster profile n his msn nick. it was always full of sadness.. duno hw true it is but nevertheless, hope he would find someone tt reali loved him for who he is. =)
moving on... thru kim's bf, daniel, knew tis guy by d name of deli. knew he was a big flirt frm d first time i met him. it was at rave. n he looks damn familiar only 2 recall tt he resembles adam chen frm channel u. haa! den, due 2 sm prob daniel have, we often meet cuz wana counsel him as a friend.. therefore, always get 2 see deli cuz he will always b there. he was havin probs wif his ex too. i was still not over d break-up wif gary also. den, we often will go into johor n also 2 chinablack. he would also call me n ask for advices n stuff. at tt pt, i didnt tink tt he would like me cuz i'm totally nt his type of girls. his type of girls is young girls n all were quite "lian" type. he himself is "beng" kind. guess most of u haf seen his pics b4. but it was during tis particular nite. we were at chinablack. he was dancing as usual n me also. but then, duno y, there r sm weird feelings. unexplainable feelings. but i decide 2 forgo d feelings n indulge in d music. they went 2 balestier 4 supper n frm there, i suddenly told them i'm gg off.. i was meeting shangjun at his place there 2 slack. (an ex of 3yrs.. was wif him frm sec 2 end till sec 5 end.. been thru alot alot wif him.. but still keep in contact smtimes.. haha. juz a lil info.) den deli called me n talk sm funny things. nxt day, he ask me whether i liked him or not n frm there. it started. d memories we shared was all at ang mo kio. play lan there, bishan park, d movies at junction8, shopping n makan in johor.. alot of times were spent at ang mo kio. but then, it became sour whn he started workin. it was total crap ah. which i cant accept. he told me feelings changed but he cant bear 2 let me go cuz i treat him real gd. guess it was becuz i kept stuffing money 2 him. then, one day, i told myself 2 reali let go of tis guy cuz no pt n i decide 2 tell him on d second day of my chalet, which he surprisingly came. told everything 2 him n i was glad i told him tt. next thing i knew, he actually has a gf even b4 we broke up. duhz. how jerk was tt? he was a total disappointment. to tink i tot he wasnt wad alot of ppl say. haa! juz count myself unlucky. but then, tinking back. he also make me become a much stronger person.
well, my polymates n sec sch mates. alot of them i often kept in contact. i reali appreciate their every bit of concern.. they haf been my shelter.. whenever i need them, they will b there. when i was down, they will cheer me up by bringing me out, craking jokes. i'm lucky tt i had such good kind souls around me. of cuz, must thank my current dear.. he is one hell of a guy. waited 5 yrs 4 me.. n still there, still willing 2 shower tt amt of love, care on me. he treats me d best among all d ex i had. seriously, i had nv felt tt loved b4.. only till now.. whn i'm wif him, i feel tt d past hurts n sm stupid shit i been thru r all gone.. d pain, d hatred. haha.. i'm getting quite emo nw.. tinking thru n tinking back abt my past, i truly realised alot of things.. all tis r processes in my life. i dunwan 2 say i regret tis or regret tt cuz i dunwan 2 live in d past anymore. i wana look forward 2 d future. living in d past only makes myself indulge in sadness which i dunwan. i only wan 2 tink of d past as learning points which will remind me of d lessons i learnt or d knowledge n maturity i gained. d future will b full of d new me.. wif d new knowledge i gained, i will strive 2 b a better person. i know i would.. =)
too much already! haha. shall stop here.. lastly, wana gif a big thanks 2 those ppl who were once impt in my life. i only mentioned 3 here cuz tis 3 happened only like recently. d rest, guess u know who u r.. will also b remembered. =) also, to all my lovely friends in poly n sec sch. i love u guys lots!! one more to go.. who else but my darling boy! love u lots. =)
